Facing cancer !
I learned coldly, by phone, at 7:00 am, on my 32nd birthday, that I was suffering from thyroid cancer, that had extended to the lymph nodes, at an advanced stage. Malignant tumor, very extensive, major and immediate surgery, urgent treatments, young children at home. Yet there was nothing, but absolutely nothing, to indicate such a diagnosis. It was January 2003…
Needless to mention the state of emergency that then settled in my life. I experienced this period on adrenaline and at such a speed that I hardly remember certain moments. I couldn’t believe it was happening to me because I didn’t feel sick. And yet……… Ensued a difficult year both physically and morally. However, with a lot of effort, life resumed its normal course or almost… I thought I’d defeated the monster.
Despite everything……… the disease came back in August 2007… It was an extremely difficult moment. I felt betrayed by life…… by my own body……… Yet it is with the same energy that I led this second fight which was, also, the most trying…… and unfortunately of short-term effectiveness……
Barely a year later, September 2008, the monster was back, the verdict relentless and the situation critical. Rage and sadness invaded me. The taste of letting go too, I was exhausted. I never finished putting my life back on track and trying to give it a normal course. I felt like I was in a game of snakes and ladders… without ladders… for the 3rd time, I was also losing my job… nothing to help the stress lived…
And then came the operation you heard about in December. The risks were enormous. I could have died (30% risk) or remain handicapped. Fortunately, I had a six-hour surgery, a controlled hemorrhage and some neurological sequels in the right arm and cervical region that will probably be absorbed over time.
It is too early as of yet to rule on the results of the operation, but I have good hope. I am currently awaiting treatments, with many sequels to those too, but this is part of the course, it seems… To follow! As soon as I have other news, I’ll keep you posted, I promise!
I thank the life for being surrounded by fantastic people. The disease is an exceedingly difficult ordeal, but it can also provide an opportunity for extraordinary personal growth. It’s my way of going through it!
I leave you with these words and, above all, whatever happens, keep hope and never give up!
Thanks again!
Marie-Helene XXXX February 2009
